Saturday, 4 April 2009

Max's Vision Of The Apocalypse #3586-G

Japan's space-programme is gathering pace, and in their latest statement the Strategic Headquarters for Space Development have announced a plan to land a walking humanoid robot on the moon by 2020. That escapade will then be followed by a joint moon-mission of humans and robots.

The government also plans to have robot nurses working in hospitals within five years. And Honda are busy developing technology to allow people to control robots with their thoughts:

So after all this, why is no-one freaking out? Surely now, if ever, is the time to start panicking and storming the Diet. I know that most of my Visions involve robots, so maybe my regular readers have got a little desensitized towards the frightening leaps in robot technology and prevalence. Well don't! That's how it all starts! With robots for convenience and "art". Like this 7 metre fire-breathing behemoth built in Roppongi, as "art":

That live footage was captured by CScout Japan, braving the no-mans-land to send us a warning. And Japanator also struck the appropriate tone of confusion and defiance. That's one branch of the future of robots: pimped-out machines of war that'll easily crush us when they gain sentience (yes, that's "when"). The other branch of the future can be represented by, amongst other creations, these:

Those are Robo-Qs - 3.4 cm tall remote-controlled robots made by Takara Tomy. Cute, aren't they? You'd welcome them into your home, wouldn't you? And that's the danger in this branch of the future - infiltration. Not only are robots beginning to tend to our sick, they're teaching in schools. That's right, robots now have full access to your children. And they're taking over from supermodels too, like nothing is sacred any more.

She's no Alessandra Ambrosio

And Motoman SDA10 can do anything you can do ten times more efficiently, and won't get crabby if he can't have a cigarette break. Here he is assembling a disposable camera.

And here he is making Okonomiyaki:

Can you assemble a disposable camera? Can you make Okonomiyaki? Of course you can't, just look at you! And that's why this robot is going to take over your life. Then your country. Then the world.

Start panicking now, the revolution's already begun.